CHAPTER FIFTEEN

Connie was a little upset with Mrs Bolton, for it was clear that she knew what was going on between her and the gamekeeper.

"It makes me so angry with Clifford! Sending people to hunt for me like this!"

"But, my Lady, if I hadn't come, surely the others would have found you much earlier than this!"

Connie understood that Mrs Bolton had helped her, so she stopped complaining; but inside, she was still very upset with Clifford. When she arrived home, she walked straight into his room, ready for a fight.

"My goodness woman!" Clifford shouted upon seeing Connie enter his room, "Where in the hell have you been? What have you been doing in the forest all this time?"

Seeing him so angry, Connie immediately became calm. She did not shout back at him, but spoke in a soft, gentle voice.

"I was sitting in the hut, enjoying the rain," she answered, taking her hat off.

"What's happened to your hair?"

"I ran out in the rain without clothing."

"You did what?" Clifford cried, "Did anyone see you? Did the gamekeeper see you?"

"No. No one saw me. But the gamekeeper did come by to feed his birds, later, after the rain stopped."

Clifford did not know what to say to her. In his heart, he was impressed with her beauty. She looked so healthy and alive at this moment. He immediately calmed down.

"Well, at least you're here now and you've not caught a cold."

Later that evening, after dinner, he tried to be as nice to Connie as he could. Picking up the latest book he was reading, he asked her what she thought about the author's idea that the universe was slowly dying, but spiritually growing at the same time. Connie, who was thinking only about her gamekeeper and how much he had said he loved her ass, was not in the mood for Clifford's talk.

"I think it's stupid," she said.

"Ah, but that's just because women don't enjoy thinking about such important things."

"Well, there's no shame in that!" she said, giving Clifford a serious look, "People, like the writer of that book, have no feeling, their bodies are dead while their brains go on living. I much prefer to enjoy my body the way it was meant to be enjoyed!"

"My goodness, I know you're eager to go to Venice and have your fun, but please try to hide it from me a little more!"

"Fine! I will."

Then Thursday arrived, and Hilda came. She had a beautiful, strong-minded look about her. It was because of this strong-mindedness that her husband was now divorcing her. This did not bother her, however. She was ready to take a long break from men and just raise her two children all on her own.

"So, who is this lover that you absolutely must see tonight?" Hilda asked her sister as they sat chatting in Connie's room.

"Well ... He's ... our gamekeeper, actually," she answered, a little embarrassed.

"The gamekeeper!" Hilda whispered disgustedly, "It'll never work!"

"You don't understand. I love him very much. He's the only man I've ever known who feels anything. I love him so much, I'm going to have his child!"

"Oh my God, Connie!"

Hilda hated to think that her sister was in love with such a low person. Clifford was bad enough, but a gamekeeper? That was too much. She tried to change Connie's mind about going to the gamekeeper's home that night, but Connie insisted. She had to see him before leaving. Finally, Hilda gave up the fight and agreed to Connie's plan.

Later that afternoon, everyone said their goodbyes as Connie loaded her things onto Hilda's car. Then they drove off to the neighboring town of Mansfield, where Hilda got a room for the night. For the rest of the afternoon and early evening, the two sisters talked about Connie's situation. Hilda felt that it was impossible for women like them to get close to working people, because their lives were so completely different. Connie, however, believed in her 'worker' too much to let any of Hilda's ideas bother her. She told her sister all about his past, even about his wife. In the end, Hilda realized that it was useless to fight Connie. She really was very much in love.

Then it came time to go. Connie wore her hat and glasses, so that no one would recq^iize her along the way to the gamekeeper's. When they finally Turived at the woods near J£s boa* he was there waiting for them. Connie got out of the car and ran over to him, but Hilda did not move from her seat, nor did she bother to look at the man.

"Oh, why don't you come and spend a little time with us," Connie said to her sister, "I'd like for you to meet each other! If you're worried about your car, just park it among those trees over there and bring your keys with you."

The gamekeeper then helped to guide Hilda as she moved her car into the area Connie had suggested. Hilda did not seem happy, but she thought it would be embarrassing to refuse her sister at this moment.

When they were all on the path to the gamekeeper's home, Connie introduced everyone to one another. The keeper and Hilda barely looked at one another, but said "hello" all the same.

When they got to the keeper's home, he offered Hilda something to eat and drink. Both sisters asked for beer. He brought out some bread and cheese and then, after taking off his coat, joined them at the table. They ate without speaking for a while. Hilda noticed that the man's table manners were, actually, much better than her own. "Was this man pretending to be somebody he was not?" she thought to herself. Finally, she spoke.

"Do you really think this is a good idea, you and my sister?"

"Hilda, please, don't be rude," Connie said.

"Well, I just think people need to keep living their life without too much change," Hilda went on.

"Well, I hear that you're getting divorced," the gamekeeper said, clearly annoyed, "Now, I believe that that involves a bit of change, wouldn't you agree? God! A woman like you would make a man really unhappy. I can see it as clear as day."

"How can you talk to me like this?" Hilda shouted. "You're a little too sure of yourself, I'd say. My sister can change her mind quite easily, I promise you that!"

"Well, all I know is that your sister has come to my bed knowing what she wants, and I've given it to her," the keeper said with a smile, "And I'll tell you, this sister of yours can really please a man with that cunt of hers. A woman like you, however, you're pretty on the outside, but I'll bet that, on the inside, you're all dead. You've got nothing to give a man. And that's why your husband has left you. That's why you'll always be alone."

Hilda then quickly got to her feet and put her coat on.

"I'll be going now," she said.

Both Connie and the gamekeeper walked her back to the car in total silence. When they arrived at the road, Hilda went straight to the car and started the engine.

"Don't make me wait for you in the morning, Connie," she said.

Then she drove off into the darkness, leaving Connie and the gamekeeper all alone. They walked back to the house, again without speaking. When they finally arrived, Connie was the first to speak.

"I can't believe what you said to Hilda!" she was smiling as she said this.

"That woman needs to be hit!" he replied as he took his boots off.

Then they lit a candle and went upstairs to bed. That night they had very wild sex. She let the gamekeeper do as he pleased. There was no love in his movements. It was pure, sexual desire. Connie thought that any other woman might have felt ashamed of being treated so roughly, but, for her, the shame disappeared. All this time, she had feared men and their animal behavior, but now she seemed to understand. His penis had gone so deep inside of her, it had found her center and made her more naked than ever before. There was no hiding from him, or herself, any longer. All of her shame was now dead.

This man was not ashamed either. Most other men were weak and confused about their desire. This man, the gamekeeper, knew what he wanted, and he helped Connie to realize what she wanted.

The next morning, he got up and made breakfast for the two of them. As they ate, the gamekeeper looked at the clock and suggested that Connie hurry, for she had only twenty minutes before her sister was to arrive.

As Connie got ready, the gamekeeper went outside with his dog to have a look around and make sure no one was about. When Connie finished dressing, they started on their way back toward the road.

"You'll still love me when I come back, won't you?" she asked him, "We will live together, right?"

"Yes. After you return."

And then they heard the sound of a car coming nearer. A horn beeped twice and Connie's heart sank with the realization that the time had come for her to leave her lover. She no longer had any desire to see Venice.

"Go on," he said, "I'll stay here."

He then kissed her and pushed her gently toward the path that led to where her sister's car waited. Connie walked on through the trees, crying. After getting in the car, she turned around, as it drove away, to see if the gamekeeper was there. However, there was no sign of him.

"It's good you're getting away from that man," Hilda said.

(end of section)